MONDAYS
That's the real pandemic. And it's been around for a waaay long time.
The signs of Monday include:
chills
depression
I-just-had-bad-fish feeling in your stomach
crankiness
irritability
wanting to possibly punch your boss in the face
looking at the clock and saying: "______ hours from now, I'll be at work," followed by sobbing.
This pandemic affects a lot of people. It knows no gender, age or race. Everyone is susceptible.
The cure:
Tuesday
rum
sunshine
vacation
winning the lottery
If you or anyone you know has any of these symptoms, seek the bottom of a bottle immediately.
This has been a public health warning from Dr. Riter.
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