Pandemic

MONDAYS

That's the real pandemic. And it's been around for a waaay long time.

The signs of Monday include:

chills

depression

I-just-had-bad-fish feeling in your stomach

crankiness

irritability

wanting to possibly punch your boss in the face

looking at the clock and saying: "______ hours from now, I'll be at work," followed by sobbing.

This pandemic affects a lot of people. It knows no gender, age or race. Everyone is susceptible.

The cure:

Tuesday

rum

sunshine

vacation

winning the lottery

If you or anyone you know has any of these symptoms, seek the bottom of a bottle immediately.

This has been a public health warning from Dr. Riter.