Celebrity Slap: January 24, 2010 Edition

Knockin' some sense into our Hollywood babies-- just like momma would!

3. New York Governor David Patterson

Offense: Womanizer

He and his wife admitted to a little O.P.P. action in the past. But I guess some things you just can't quit. He was spotted having dinner with a "leggy Latina in her 20s." And sources say they were quite cozy-- with the sight-challenged gov nibbling on her neck. I'm sure it was innocent. Maybe he thought her neck was a stalk of celery... or a straw... or an ice cream cone.

2. Jon Gosselin

Offense: Loser

Poor, pathetic ween has to suckle off the teet of his young, equally losertastic girlfriend because he can't affort a pack of gum. I bet right about now you'd KILL to have Kate belittling your manhood and laughing at your hair plugs-- cuz that meant you had a home and some money! But as they say, Karma is a biotch, and apparently in your case-- she's on the rag. I'm sure you'll get a job... someday. Repeat after me: "Would you like to biggie-size that?" Could you say that with a little more feeling? Doh!

1. Wyclef Jean

Offense: Fool

He looked like such a stand-up guy immediately pleading to the public to help Haiti. He seemed so honorable... until it came out that he's been dipping into hs own charity for his own purposes. Cuz the thought of spending your own money for recording time and video production seemed far-fetched. I guess he took the phrase "charity starts at home" to heart. Toolbag. God's watching. And I have a feeling a smoting is coming your way. Douche.

Get ready. Here. It. Comes....... SLAAAAAP!

xoxo,

RiRi