A box wrapped in a box...

Dear Santa...

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth... and a vagina necklace!

What. The. Fuck.

There really is vaj jewelry out there. Jessica Marie is her name. Started designing poon pendants a year ago when she needed to "reconcile" with her own coochie. Okay...

You must check out her website. www.vulvalovelovely.etsy.com

There are other assorted things that celebrate the vaj.

Maybe you can get something for the mom-in-law because she's the ultimate twat. Just sayin'...

xoxo,

RiRi

P.S. You buy me this for Christmas, and it will be on the only pussy you're getting for a decade. And you will eventually get carpel tunnel, so don't even go there...

What I want for Christmas

Dear Santa...
I know Christmas is a little over six months away, but I wanted to get my request in early. I know I'm an adult (that's what my driver's license says) and I should be asking for things like world peace and an end to hunger. I'm down with all that. But I need my own Edward. You've seen from the North Pole how very few good men are left. Most are married, gay or cheaters, or are stalking losers who still live with their mommas. So, my own personal Edward Cullen would be wonderful.
Yes, I am delusional. I'm okay with that. And so I don't look too freaky, please throw in that Bella doll as well.
I've been a fairly good girl. I don't smoke. I workout. I don't drink too much. I've cut the fucking swearing down a lot this shitbag year, and I've gone green in many areas of my life.
So give a sista mutha-friggin' Barbie.

Thanks in advance.

xoxo,
RiRi