Showing posts with label Twilight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Twilight. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
What I want for Christmas
Dear Santa...
I know Christmas is a little over six months away, but I wanted to get my request in early. I know I'm an adult (that's what my driver's license says) and I should be asking for things like world peace and an end to hunger. I'm down with all that. But I need my own Edward. You've seen from the North Pole how very few good men are left. Most are married, gay or cheaters, or are stalking losers who still live with their mommas. So, my own personal Edward Cullen would be wonderful.
Yes, I am delusional. I'm okay with that. And so I don't look too freaky, please throw in that Bella doll as well.
I've been a fairly good girl. I don't smoke. I workout. I don't drink too much. I've cut the fucking swearing down a lot this shitbag year, and I've gone green in many areas of my life.
So give a sista mutha-friggin' Barbie.
Thanks in advance.
xoxo,
RiRi
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Addiction
Nice to know I'm not the only full-grown woman addicted to the Twilight saga. While stimulating the economy at Yankee Candle the other day, I happened across kindred candle junkies/Twihards. We rapped like a bunch of schoolgirls!
PONYTAIL WOMAN
Oh, my God I think Edward is so hot!
SALES ASSOCIATE
I know! My husband yelled at me because I wanted to hang a Twilight poster in our bedroom. He said "You're 36-years-old. We don't hang posters in our bedrooms anymore."
Rita, who spies the ponytail woman's Twilight bag, enters the gabfest.
RITA
If he doesn't let you hang up the poster, just wash his underwear in Spic-n-Span. He'll come around real fast when his fun marbles are on fire.
PONYTAIL WOMAN
I like that! (a beat) Are you a Twilight fan, too?
RITA
Oh, yeah! I would love to find a vampire like Edward! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who has impure thoughts about him.
SALES ASSOCIATE
I know! And we're old enough to be his mother.
RITA
No we're not! We're old enough to be his babysitter. Think how much fun that could be! We know more things than those younger girls do....
=================
We all agreed we can't wait to see New Moon. If some tweeny-thing tries to get between me and a good seat at the theater, I just might have to throw her a 'bow. Hey-- that's what we old broads do. lol...
xoxo,
RiRi
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Obsessed
"Hi. I'm Rita. And I'm a Twi-Hard."
I have reverted back to my tween years. And I don't give a damn! I am completely obsessed with the 'Twilight' saga and I can't wait until 'New Moon' comes out! Can't wait! I discovered this awesome website where I get my daily fix of all things 'New Moon!'
Yeah... don't look at me like that. I may be a little older than the average age of the typical fan, but get over it. I never wanted to be a vampire more in my life! Especially since being one doesn't involve sleeping in coffins and fearing sunlight.
Ah... if only Edward were real. But Robert Pattinson is.
"Come here, Robert. Momma needs to spank you."
XOXOXO,
Rita Cullen (Pattinson)
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