Celebrity Slap: July 12, 2009 Edition

Knockin' some sense into our Hollywood babies-- just like momma would!

3. Shauna Sands

Offense: Creepy, gross whore!

Obviously, this "thing" has no standards or morals. It's bad enough to have cheated on your hubby Lorenzo Lamas. But it's something else to be cheating on him with his 18-year-old son! Was it family pass day at Vajay-jay Park or what? I hope you let that thang breathe in between the Lamas Lovin'. Eeeeewwww!

2. Nicole Bobek

Offense: Disgraceful

The former U.S. Figure Skating Champ has taken to a new arena-- selling meth (allegedly.) She was busted this week in a 20-person sting at her second home in Florida. You're wealthy enough to have two homes, yet you had to deal meth? Unreal. Perhaps this was all a misunderstanding. She really was testing out new advertising for Campbell's Soup. "Campbells and Meth. Mmmm, Mmmm. good!"

1. Lindsay Lohan

Offense: Stooo-pid

In a one-two punch fitting for our beloved hot mess, Lindsay is accused of stealing a spray tan formula and then marketing it as her own. She also turned down the Heather Graham role in "The Hangover." Ouch! Lindsay: we know you're a thief. You can barely tie your shoes, let alone formulate anything. And secondly, you can't sniff out a good movie role. Rotten "fish," yes. Good movie role, not so much. Please. Stop sitting on your brain. It's gotta hurt.

Here. It. Comes. SLAAAAAP!

xoxo,

RiRi