Celebrity Slap: July 19, 2009 Edition

Knockin' some sense into our Hollywood Babies-- just like momma would!

3. Joe Jackson

Offense: Breathing our good air

For the love of God why won't this man shut up and go away!?! All this fool sees is dollar signs in his eyes, as he had the stupidity to say publicly that Michael's kids have a future in showbiz... even calling them the "Jackson 3." Is he that out of touch? Joe Jackson, the poster child for birth control!

2. Morgan Freeman

Offense: Old perv

I always thought he was a cool dude, but there is something West Virginia-creepy about a 72-year-old wanting to knock boots with his 27-year-old step-grandaughter. I can't imagine what she finds appealing about someone old enough to be her great-grandaddy. Maybe she's really into beef jerky. I don't know. I bet there's some kind of role playing going on, like "Driving Miss Booby" or whatever. I just threw up a little in my mouth. Ick.

1. Jon Gosselin

Offense: Nasty

When I look at Mr. Midlife Crisis, all I can see is an open, festering sore. Moo Goo Guy dumb is supposedly engaged to his tramp. Once the money dries up-- and it will because you have 8 kids-- she'll be taking her vajay-jay buffet to greener pastures. You're a disgrace to your gender. Even your testicles don't want to hang around you any more!

Here. It. Comes. SLAAAAAAP!

xoxo,

RiRi