I want to thank you mom, for being born then eventually birthing me. I hope you enjoy your gifts from the heart, the fine meal I will prepare, and the wine I'm going to ply you with this weekend so you won't ask if I will give you a grandchild by your next birthday. Hey, it was you who told me men are like shoes: there are plenty of Keds hanging around, but why not wait for Christian Louboutin?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
xoxo,
Your offspring
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