Really?

SKINNY JEANS

A recent survey from Special K (that crappy cereal) reveals that 29 percent of women say fitting into their "skinny" jeans again would be better than sex.

Say WHAT!?!

29 percent is waaay too high. Maybe one percent. But 29 percent? I know there's some bad ween out there, but when everything evens-out, nothing is better than sex. Sure, lots of money is great. You can buy sex. Chocolate is great. You can slather someone in chocolate and then have sex. Get it? Obviously not since a pair of pants is more exciting than what's inside them!

Fitting back into your skinny jeans could get you sex. Are you gonna turn it down because you just want to strut around all proud in your fuckin' jeans?

Get a grip. Or better yet, get a toy and vibe your brain into remembering why sex rocks.

29 percent... please.

Rant concluded.

xoxo,

RiRi

Project Cruise

In the latest issue of Elle magazine, Katie Holmes reveals that her alien hubby Tom Cruise critiques her clothing.

"He usually likes everything, but sometimes I'll walk out and he'll say 'I think that dress might be wearing you. You don't need that."

I'm sure she dilligently obeyed her master and changed into a more pleasing outfit immediately.

If Tom made that comment to me, I would've said: "That's a lovely shade of dick you're wearing."

Fucktard.

xoxo,

RiRi

Who wears short-shorts?

OMG! The First Lady wears shorts-- in public. Holy shit, throw her in jail!

Seriously. This is a big deal why?

"Aren't those shorts a little too short?"

"The First Lady should cover up!"

Some lifeless losers actually "debating" this important issue. Cuz when I'm on vacation, hiking, in the Grand Canyon, I should be wearing my petticoat and corset.

Now, if this were Janet Reno... yikes!

Reno = Hell, no!

Keep rockin' the shorts, Michelle O!

It's 2009, not 1909. Word.

xoxo,

RiRi

NOT a porn title

STUD MUFFIN DENIM

Starring...

Me. This is the Kathy Van Zeeland purse I could NOT resist today. I have become a bonafide fan of her handbags. This is my second. When she first hit the scene, I wasn't keen on her line. Way too gaudy, junky, cheesy... but now, it fits just right.

From my "down under" to you, down-under-woman. Kathy Van Zeeland, this tingle's for you!

xoxo,

The Fabulous Mizz Riter