I submit!

Dear Kettlebell....
You worked me over the other day. Easy moves; only a few reps... I woke up crying for my mommy. Kudos to you, for you have made me your bitch.
xoxo,
RiRi

Award Winner

DAVID BECKHAM

Today's GAWD-D*MN award.

You've never made baby oil and tighty "whities" look better. (Yes, I realize his junk cover is black!)

Victoria is a lucky woman. Bitch.

xoxo,

RiRi

Pairs, people. Pairs.

Since Target is one of my fav stores (where else can you grocery shop AND get chic items for a good price?) I thought it would be a perfectly acceptable place to get a heavier set of dumbells. Notice I said SET.

RITA

Ooh... there's the eight-pound weights I've been looking for.

Rita picks it up, tests-drives the weight. A curious look spreads across her face.

RITA

(out loud)

Why is there only one weight left? Seriously. Who buys one friggin' weight?

A woman walks by the aisle, stops. Looks at Rita likes she's crazy

RITA

(to woman)

Who buys one weight? What's the point? Is someone that cheap that they can only afford one dumbell? Then just use a can of soup instead and forget about it!

WOMAN

Maybe a one-armed person bought it.

RITA

Don't you think a one-armed person would have other things on their mind?

The woman walks away, most likely disgusted at Rita's insensitivity.

RITA

(to self)

I'm going to Hell.

====================

But I still don't understand the logic behind buying one weight... lol

xoxo,

RiRi

Bat wings be gone!

This... is not a pretty sight. Arm flab. I call them "bat wings." Sounds so cute, except when you're waiving to a crowd during a parade and you're creating wind gusts with your "wings." (Not that I'm speaking from experience. lol) Good news, though. The arms are easier to tone than other flabby parts (think 'gut'.) Yaaay! Small miracle.

Granted, my wings aren't too expansive. But with sleeveless season drawing closer, I really don't need to frighten children. Have you experienced scaring a child? Yeah, not so cool. I posted a link below that helps rid the "bat wings" forever! Hey, we gals need to stick together. Here's to a nation of Michelle Obama arms!

xoxo,

RiRi

http://www.prevention.com/cda/article/de-flab-your-arms/12c2d08f88803110VgnVCM20000012281eac____/fitness/fitness.coaches/ask.selene/0/

Fit Flops-- for real?

Awww, my little baby Fit Flops came home with momma today!

Even better-- major league discount! Used some bonus points and a coupon, and voila... $9 at Macy's. Been reading rave reviews from us 'average folk' to celebs that LOVE these things. The way they're designed supposedly keep your leg and butt muscles in a constant state of trying to stay balanced.

I don't really dislike my legs. They're in great shape-- but what the hell. Doesn't hurt to be an over achiever. Maybe they'll magically make my boobies perkier and my abs... well, that would be a miracle.

My "abs" have been in witness protection for the better part of a decade.

Let you know how it goes... if I remember to wear them.

Hugs,

RiRi