Celebrity Slap: September 6, 2009 Edition

Knockin' some sense into our Hollywood babies-- just like momma would!

3. Carrie Prejean

Offense: Opening her mouth

She's suing the Miss California USA organization--again-- this time for discrimination based on her religious beliefs. Yawn. Sigh. Gag. I thought this ninny had faded into the background, but her California-bought boobalas are baaaaack! Enough is enough. Why don't you ask yourself what would Jesus do? You know what Jesus would do? He would tell you to sit down and shut up and quit riding his holy coat tails! That's what Jesus would do!

2. Chris Brown

Offense: Complete and utter stupidity

He and his mommy were on Larry King the other night doing his whole mea culpa tour. Repulsive. Says he's still in love with Rihanna. Of course he is. Abusers are 'in love' with the 'object' they want to 'control.' It's called obsession. He also said he forgot what happened the night he beat her. Whatever. Too bad you didn't get prison time. I would've loved it if Bubba and the sisters used that friggin' baby blue Emmanuel Lewis-lookin' bowtie you were wearing as part of their colon cleanse welcome committee!

1. Spencer Pratt

Offense: Twit

Dude tells US Weekly mag that he's legally changing his name to King Spencer Pratt. And with good reason: because there's a Queen of England and a Prince William, so there needs to be a King of America. What? Spencer, you do know that England is another country, right? This vain, self-absorbed, fugly pimple on the ass of society is indeed the king of a few things: Delusionalville and Smallerweenertown. For the love all good things American. Go. A. Way. Thanks.

Get ready. Here. It. Comes.... SLAAAAP!
xoxo,

RiRi