Knockin' some sense into our Hollywood babies-- just like momma would!
Dishonorable Mention: Paris Hilton. She wants to put out-- a new CD, that is. Please. Don't.
3. John Edwards
Offense: Dispicable Douche
It came out that John promised his tramp, Rielle Hunter, a lovely rooftop wedding with the Dave Matthews Band playing. Awww! Just as soon as his wife Elizabeth dies from cancer. Were you born without a soul? Rielle is just a trollop. She can't help it that her natural state of being is with her legs wide open. But you, on the other hand, are a lying, cheating, down-dirty pus-bag with no respect or class. I hope Elizabeth round-house kicks your fun marbles through your nose!
2. Suzanne Somers
Offense: Mouth runneth over
In light of Patrick Swayze's too recent passing, Suzanne says chemo caused his death. Since when did Mizz Saggybreasts become a doctor? Great. You've been able to slow down the aging process with hormones and New Age treatments, but now is not the time to speak. It's too soon. So, kindly go choke on a Thighmaster. Feel that burn, big mouth!
1. David Hasselhoff
Offense: Lying to yourself
Let's be real. It wasn't some weirdo inner ear issue/medication combo that made you appear to be a drunken mess. You ARE a drunken mess. You've been videotaped lying on a bathroom floor, shirtless with your moobs suffocating from your grey chest hair, all while inhaling a greasy cheeseburger. Because sober people do that all the time! We aren't buying it. Get help. Even K.I.T.T. is ashamed of you.
Get ready. Here. It. Comes. SLAAAAAP!
xoxo,
RiRi
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