Knockin' some sense into our Hollywood babies-- just like momma would!
3. Michael Lohan
Offense: Deadbeat tool
Just when you thought it was safe, this douchemaster rises from his douchi-ness to snag some more face time. He's counselling Jon Gosselin, which is laughable, considering he's behind on his child support payments. To the tune of 12-grand. Here's a concept: Shut. Your. Mouth. And get a damn job! Get two. Take care of your demon seed. This is why more men need vasectomies!
2. Candy Spelling
Offense: Juvenile adult
Instead of trying to talk to her daughter, Tori, one-on-one like humans do, Candy has decided that TMZ is a more appropriate forum to air out her dirty laundry. The only reason we know who you are, woman, is because you threw your legs up in the air for Aaron. You're complaining that you haven't seen your grandkids, yet you think talking to the media is the best way to make that happen? Candy. That's an ironic name, cuz there ain't nothin' sweet about you, you wrinkly-looking squeegie!
1. Tony Romo
Offense: Shameful dog
Granted, I'm no Jessica fan. But no one deserves to be cheated on and lied to. Tony was having an emotional affiar with his newest bimbette and even took her to a Jessica concert! Wrong. Just plain wrong. I hope some hoochie momma wearing a Jessica Simpson-brand stilletto grinds her heel into your sack while beating you upside the head with a Jessica Simpson-brand handbag. Sack to sack, baby! Now that's karma!
Get ready. Here. It. Comes..... SLAAAAAP!
xoxo,
RiRi
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