Knockin' some sense into our Hollywood babies-- just like momma would!
3. The Penns
Offense: Lunatics
Robin Wright-Penn filed for divorce... again. On again. Off again. Hot. Cold. Yawn... Make up your minds! Or is this really some kind of freak-a-leak foreplay? Instead of blowing a lot of money and getting your lawyers involved in this weirdo game, just go down to the corner market, get some Boone's Farm, beef jerky and some Twizzlers and have yourselves a sweatin'-up-the-sheets good time until you change your minds AGAIN. Irreconcilable differences? Please. You just can't run from stupid.
2. Jamie Foxx
Offense: Spermtastic
Mr. Ding-a-ling may have a few more children out there than he thought. In fact, the number of spawn is unclear. Sure, Jamie, you may be having a grand ol' time divin' into those cookie jars, but there's this thing called 'child support.' You've heard of it? 18 seconds of vajayjay equals an 18-year pay day. Duh! And you should know better, cuz you did that "Gold Digger" song with Kanye. As the great philosopher Mr. T would say: "Just bag it, Fool!"
1. Jon Gosselin
Offense: Breathing
His name is two dirty words. Like Douche Bag and Ass Hole. He really thinks he's a playa with the hos and thinks he can get a new TV show. Don't try to subject us to more of your whiny bitchiness just because you already blew your half of the money on your riddiculous Ed Hardy bullshit clothes that look like Barney threw up on. Obviously, previous slaps haven't worked so now it's time to f*ck your shit up. (verbally, of course because I'm really a delicate flower.) I feel bad for you father. He's probably kickin' himself right now, wishing he would've played with Rosie and her five friends instead of yo momma the night God got humorous and created you!
Get ready. Here. It. Comes. Slaaaaaaap!
xoxo,
RiRi
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment