Knockin' some sense into our Hollywood babies-- just like momma would!
3. Jessica Biel
Offense: Breathing
(read with sarcasm) It sucks to be Jessica. She's so beautiful, she can't get good acting roles. It's a curse! And-- she can only get some second-rate tool like Justin Timberlake to date her. (sigh) i guess she's just gonna have to be a greeter at Wal-Mart. (sigh) Jessica-- you're rich! You're beautiful! You don't NEED to work. Go start a charity, or go make your own movies. There are options. GET OVER IT!
2. Criss Angel
Offense: Stupidity
Dude took comedian Jeff Beacher's cat. Flat out stole it, then taunted the guy with several phone messages saying the cat liked HIM better! What totally stinks-- the cat belonged to Beacher's late parents. Obviously, Mr. Mindgeek has duped us with the ultimate illusion-- that he's human-- 'cuz he's not! Guess this must be the only way he can get pussy these days.
1. Kate Gosselin
Offense: Speaking
This Queen of all Wenches thinks it's our responsibility to help pay for her eight children. Oh, yeah! Before the twinkling of the TV lights, and the cha-ching-ing of the cash register, she told Medicaid that "societal pressure" made her turn to invitro. Riiight. Cuz in America, we have no free will. No one forced Mizz-Flock-of-Seagulls-hair to go and have any kids-- let alone eight! It's not our fault you chose to treat your vajay-jay like a Pez dispenser!
Get ready. Here. It. Comes.... SLAAAAAAP! Hope you've learned your lesson!
xoxox,
RiRi
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