Celebrity Slap: May 3, 2009 Edition

Knockin' some sense into our Hollywood babies-- just like Momma would.

3. Nadya "Octomom" Suleman

Offense: Breathing

Dingbat supreme decided the best way to honor her 14 kids is to get a tattoo. Because getting a job and feeding your kids isn't practical. Riiiight. Her design has something to do with an angel and 14 stars. That's gonna be one saggy galaxy once age really sets in. But it's kinda cool, in a away, because her kids can play tether ball with her 'saggy stuff'... which would kinda be like slapping themselves around. Interesting....

2. Jon Gosselin

Offense: Dumb. Dumber. Idiot!

Dude-- if you're gonna go and get some strange, you need to be a little more discreet. You were caught once partying with some frat hos, so leaving a club at 2 a.m. is waaaay better. NOT! No wonder Kate bitch-slaps you daily and keeps your fun marbles in a jar. You don't know how to use them responisbly! Keep it up, and she might feed 'em to you while she's taking your wallet.

1. William Shatner

Offense: Self-absorbed fool

Yes, you have this cheesy... quirky... persona? You did those cool Priceline commercials where. you. talked. like. this..... and those spoken-word albums weren't so bad. But-- you ain't all THAT. I can't believe the Shat is still upset that he was left out of the new 'Star Trek' movie. Wait-- Shatster turned down an appearance because the role wasn't nearly as big as his ego. Come on! You're the man that played T.J. Hooker! Get a grip!

Get those cheeks ready. Here. It. Comes...... SLAP!